Bey Style: Get Her Look

Right, so I wouldn’t exactly be known as a super-stylish trend-setter (to say the least) and I’ve very often no clue what’s going on in the world of fashion until I read it in the magazine (THE magazine, U, the one I work for). But one thing I am known for is my love of Beyoncé… So I asked my cousin Leah, who just set up her own fashion blog called This Fashion Space, to do a Bey inspired outfit post. Here’s what she did!

“When it comes to fashion I always think ‘Would Beyoncé wear this?’ If yes, that means it is acceptable to buy, if not it’s dump it and leave it. Her style is simple and ordinary yet trendy, but most importantly it’s easy to follow for your own wear and inspiration…”

bey-fashion

Get the look here:

River Island Yellow print jacquard high waist shorts €41

TOPSHOP Checked Shirt €52

Black Geometric Print Tailored Boxy Jacket €80

Dogtooth cigarette trousers €57

White leather point court shoes €60

LEXI round sunglasses €20


Thanks for the injection of style, Leah!

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Jennie McGinn: CE-OMG.

Fancy seeing YOU here?! Welcome to day 12, I THINK, of my efforts to be the nosiest person in all the land. In case you’re not already aware, I’m making the coolest Irish people I know spill their phone-using secrets. Today’s lucky lady?

Jennie McGenius McGinn!

Jennie McGinnJennie McGinn is already winning at life. She’s a CEO, for cryin’ out loud, and she’s like, 12 or something. Well maybe not but you get the gist. In case you’ve been living under a giant fashion-deprived rock, OPSH.com is the brainchild of Jennie and her equally entrepreneurial sisters Sarah and Grace. It’s a new way to shop online and, although I’m not much of a fashion-y girl (can’t afford it, don’t have the eye) I’m excited to see what the genius innovation does to online shopping worldwide. When it changes everything, I’ll direct the world to the fact that I got an early look into the CEO’s smartphone. It’ll be like Mark Zuckerberg all over again.

What type of phone do you have?
HTC

Would you consider yourself obsessed with your phone?
Ummmm, yes. I’m your typical obnoxious phone user… walking in the street, first thing in morning, last thing at night… even in the bath!

Do you carry a charger around with you ‘just in case’?
Always

Do you ever bring it to the loo with you?
See above… but bath only…

Do you panic if you haven’t got your phone in your line of sight?
Ha, YES!

What do you use your phone for that’s a bit different?
I store handwritten notes in the cover.

How many alarms have you got set right now?
Three!

Who was the last person you text?
Our business mentor – to say I’d call him later

How many pictures do you have saved, currently?
Over 1000

Do you have any weird habits relating to your phone?
I’m anal about charging it to 100%

What app do you use to chat?
Whatsapp. Although I do get freaked out by the sheer volume of messages from different groups. It can be overwhelming. But I HATE talking on the phone.

What app do you check most often?
Gmail for work unfortunately…

What app do you wish you could tell everyone about?
I’m actually not a massive app user, bar the obvious social media, but Evernote is a particularly useful tool.

What app are you a bit morto that you have?
I’m clean as a whistle with my apps!
(I’m sure that’s a lie. No one is THAT innocent. Bet there’s some kind of karaoke app knocking around in there somewhere…)

Are you a messy phone user or are you tidy/obsessive compulsive about it?
Definitely tidy. I get major anxiety with unnecessary notifications – and when other people have a volcano of noises coming out of their phone (for delivery reports! I ask you!!), I get really annoyed!

What three apps could you not live without?
Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter.

WHAM, BAM, ANSWER MA’AM

Vibrate or noise? Vibrate
Cover or no cover? Cover (how can people LIVE without covers? You’re asking for trouble…)
Minimal or messy homescreen? Minimal
Finger scroll or thumb scroll? Thumb
Text or call? Text
Instagram or Twitter? Instagram
iPhone or Android? Android 4 LYF

FIND JENNIE

www.opsh.com
@JennieMcGinn
Insta: @mcginnsisters

COMING TOMORROW…

The LAST in my smartphone series – last but by NO means least. The person who’s wardrobe/skin/hair/life I envy, but who is SO GOD DAMN NICE I can’t even hate her a tiny bit for it… 8am! See you on the flipside.

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Sinead Burke: Some woman for one woman!

Welcome, welcome. I’m currently on my way to the airport to go to Paris for the week (DISNEYLAND, HI THERE) but that isn’t stopping things at TWYL…

sineadburke

Photo credit: Barry McCall for ISPCC

Sinead Burke, internet-ally known as Minnie Melange of www.minniemelange.com, is the latest victim person to be asked about the ins and outs of their smartphone. She is a former Alternative Miss Ireland, she’s a PhD student AND I’m pretty sure she’s way younger than me. She gives me her answers in typically brilliant fashion, but before you read them… Know that she is one of the faces of this year’s ISPCC Shield Campaign (against bullying in Ireland – Brian O’Driscoll and Thalia Heffernan, among others, are joining her on the campaign). Grab yourself a shield badge or a bangle in Penneys for €2.50 and show a bit of support… It’s what you’d spend on your morning coffee, sure.

Okay – back to bidniz.

What type of phone do you have?
One Plus One.

Would you consider yourself obsessed with your phone?
No, but my friends and family might think otherwise.
(and they’re probably right! hehe)

Do you carry a charger around with you ‘just in case’? Typically, I don’t as the battery is really very good on my phone but you’ve caught me on the one day where I’m hauling it around in my bag.

Do you ever bring it to the loo with you?
Yes but it’s not just for a quick skim through Instagram or Twitter, if I’m in a public place I always take my phone with me incase I can’t reach the lock on the toilet door or worse, become trapped inside. A primary function of being my friend is that you inherit the title of ‘public toilet saviour’. Enticing, right?!

Do you panic if you haven’t got your phone in your line of sight?
When I’m in college, I try to be disciplined and leave my phone out of reach, just so I am a little productive but panic does ensue if I can’t find it after approximately five seconds.

What do you use your phone for that you think is unique or different?
Possibly the aforementioned toilet reason but that’s a bit strange. Otherwise, I sometimes use the voice recorder app to either dictate my thoughts and to­-do list. I’m not painting a great picture of myself here…

How many alarms have you got set right now?
Three: 6:00am, 6:10am, 6:15am. Sleep is a necessity. Every minute counts.

Who was the last person you text?
My youngest sister, Chloe. I’m the eldest of five and while each of us are very different, we make a great effort to keep up to date with what’s going on in the others’ lives.

How many pictures do you have saved, currently?
My phone was a gift from Santa in December so since then, there’s 632 photos. They’re not all selfies, I promise.
(Pretty sure Santa lost my address a few years back. Darn it.)

Do you have any weird habits relating to your phone?
I’m not sure if it’s weird but I use it to listen to audiobooks. I’m currently ‘reading’ Amy Poehler’s ‘Yes Please’ and fellow passengers often think it’s strange that I randomly burst out laughing. Sorry guys!

What app do you use to chat?
Whatsapp.

What app do you check/use most often?
Twitter and Instagram.

What app do you wish you could tell everyone about?
Tunepics – It’s the amalgamation of Instagram and Spotify. I mean, who doesn’t want to add a whopper soundtrack to the most filtered elements of their life?!

What app are you a bit morto that you have/use?
2048. I commute to college and spend a lot of time on public transport. 2048 helps kill time but I’m too embarrassed to tell you what my high score is.

Are you a messy phone user or are you tidy/obsessive compulsive about it?
Oh, I’m the obsessive compulsive type. Everything is in a specific, genre­related folder. What three apps could you not live without? Twitter, Instagram, Spotify (oh, and Stylist Magazine. I know you said three, I know…)

QUICKIES!

Vibrate or noise? Vibrate
Cover or no cover? Cover (and screen protector). I know!
Minimal or messy homescreen? The amazing Iris Apfel is my current background photo. She’s one of my heroes
Finger scroll or thumb scroll? Thumb but now I’m paranoid that I should train myself to finger scroll…
Text or call? Call
Instagram or Twitter? Twitter
iPhone or Android? Android

FIND SINEAD…

@MinnieMelange
Her website!

COMING TOMORROW…

This country’s most entrepreneurial woman. FACT. And tell ya what, we’re lucky her and her sisters are still here and they didn’t leg it to give their genius to another country.

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Kirstie McDermott: Editor’s iPhone

GOOD DAY TO YOU. It’s Saturday and I am JUBILANT because I’m off work for nine days to go to Paris. And Disneyland. WAH etc. Don’t worry, I’ve got stuff to put up here while I’m gone because I know your days would be EMPTY without reading it (right?? RIGHT???) but before I leave… Someone else is being interrogated!

Kirstie McDermott!

Kirstie McDKirstie’s CV is more jumbled than Bosco’s undercarriage – to use her (brilliant) words. She’s not only editor of STELLAR magazine (where I started out as an intern lonnnnng ago), but she’s also the owner of one of my favourite sites on the entire internet, Frillseeker.ie and contributes to Sunday Times Style Ireland too. God only knows where she got the time to answer these probing questions for me, but lookit. Thank goodness she did. Here we go.

What type of phone do you have?
An iPhone 5s

Do you consider yourself obsessed with your phone?
Erm… yes, yes I do.

Do you carry a charger around with you ‘just in case’?
I just got this one, so the battery is good (for the moment…) but had a 4s for a couple of years and yes, I had a constantly charged Juicecube in my bag and a lead attached to my computer in work for extra juicing opportunities.

Do you ever bring it to the loo with you?
It has been known. Let’s leave it at that.

Do you panic if you haven’t got your phone in your line of sight?
YES. But I don’t allow Neil, my fella, to call it cos I can’t *stand* seeing the missed call on the screen when I find it. Weirdo.
(weird, but I kinda understand?? It’s giving up!)

What do you use your phone for that you think is unique or different?
It’s pretty much the hub of Frillseeker operations; I track traffic in realtime, take pictures, use IG, do my bit of daily digital marketing via it and make the occasional video.

How many alarms have you got set right now?
Three.

Who was the last person you text?
My friend Helena, we’re trying to sort out a meet up.

How many pictures do you have saved, currently?
833. Which is pathetic. I had a 64g 4s, and had to delete EVERYTHING when I switched.
(DEVASTATION – I hear ya.)

Do you have any weird habits relating to your phone?
Yes, it’s constantly on silent which means I never, ever pick up calls. Also, if you leave me a voicemail? I ain’t listening to that.

What app do you use to chat?
Facebook messenger to endlessly talk to Rosemary MacCabe, and WhatsApp to talk to my little sister.

What app do you check/use most often?
Twitter. Hands down.

What app do you wish you could tell everyone about?
I love the Google suite of apps. Nerdy but I do. iDashboard is the biz if you run a website.

What app are you a bit morto that you have/use?
Snapchat. I GOT IT FOR WORK PURPOSES BBZ.
(that’s what they all say, Kirstie…)

Are you a messy phone user or are you tidy/obsessive compulsive about it?
Oh really messy. Though the Phone Move of 2014 did result in an app cull.

What three apps could you not live without?
iDashboard, Facebook and Gmail.

QUICKFIYAHHHHHH

Vibrate or noise? Noise
Cover or no cover? Currently none but I am super partial to covers, the more ridic the better
Minimal or messy homescreen? Messy please
Finger scroll or thumb scroll? Finger
Text or call? Text
Instagram or Twitter? Twitter
iPhone or Android? iPhone

FIND KIRSTIE…

@Frillseeker
@Kirstie
Frillseeker.ie

COMING TOMORROW…

One fabulous lady who’s part of the latest ISPCC Shield campaign against bullying. I love her. Check it out at 2pm.

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Inside the Lines… Why Colouring is BACK

My sister (aged 21) thinks I’m the least cool person in the known universe. A quote of hers from recently, said with an affectionately condescending tone: “You get weirder every time I come into your bedroom.” The reason for this hilarious insult?

I was recently given a colouring book and some lovely colouring pencils as a present. I’m 27.

FullSizeRender (1)You might find that combination of statements as bizarre as my sister did… But actually lads, no joke. Colouring in is coming BACK. For adults. Pencil sharpeners at the ready, the battle to stay inside the lines is raging once again. It’s like I’ve magicked twenty years off my age.

Basically, when I got the weird gift I went sleuthing on t’internet to see was I the only one. If my search had been “people who speak fluent spanish, are aged exactly 34 and dress like characters from Sabrina the Teenage Witch while burning incense and peeling the dead skin off their feet” I would have found MANY many results. Because when you look for something bizarre on the internet, it immediately out-bizarres you.

I found out, via the magic of several articles, one from Huff Post which was mega informative, that colouring in is the newest stress reliever on the block. Carl Jung (dat dude wat founded analytical psychology) was one of the first to see colouring as a relaxation technique, and he’s mad famous so probably spot on with it.

WHAT COLOURING DOES TO YOUR BRAIN…

1. DE-STRESS Choosing which pencil to use, which segment to pull that pencil back and forth across twenty times, which otherworldly creation you’ll make next… All that sort of stuff relaxes you. It opens up both the logical and creative parts of your brain, and takes down whatever hormone or emotional response gives you your penchant for a casual overwhelm.

2. FOCUS Don’t know when the last time you coloured was, but while you do it, it’s exceedingly difficult to put your mind on anything else. It keeps your mind set on one thought and therefore, away from your worries and stresses. It’s like meditation for those who haven’t mastered the art of ‘clearing’ their minds. I can’t do that for the life of me, so I colour now.

3. CHILDLIKE When is colouring socially acceptable? In childhood, of course. And when is stress least prevalent in life?? Childhood, of course. SO it stands to reason that when we colour, we revert to our childhood ways and come into a very imaginative mindset, where the stresses of adulthood are momentarily left behind in a swirl of coloured pencils.

So popular is this new buzz, French publishing company Hatchette have a series of colouring books for adults out called Art-thérapie: Coloriages Anti-Stress and it is absolutely FLYING off the shelves over there. I’m heading to Paris next week and I’m planning to do some more colouring book investigation while there. I wonder will I see any impossibly elegant French women whiling away the hours with an espresso and a box of Crayolas?

Another chick from the UK, Mel Simone Elliot, has brought out an adult colouring book too. (Every time I say ‘adult colouring book’ to myself I picture a weird, saucy, burlesque affair with pictures of scantily clad ladies sprawled on dog-eared couches and across the bonnets of classic cars – in my experience, that is not what they are.)

So look, why not grab a few minutes to yourself, throw on some chilled out music as the soundtrack to your relaxation, and colour away to your heart’s content. And if that doesn’t work, take the Sex and the City approach to colouring… Where staying inside the lines is NOT recommended.

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What IS on Leanne Woodfull’s Phone??

Who’s up today?? I’ve been snooping around the iPhone of the lovely Leanne Woodfull!

Leanne Woodfull
Leanne, first of all, has recently dyed her hair green. IMMEDIATELY I was jealous. (a) Because how COOL and brave and (b) because Beyoncé had green hair in her video for Superpower which is totally my fave song on the new album. I digress. Leanne is one of Ireland’s most successful bloggers. She’s 21, super lovely, and has already done so much through her gorge website Thunder & Threads, including winning the 2014 Company #StyleBloggerAwards Best International Blog. Nice one, wha?? And not just that but she’s amassed a crazy number of followers (devotees!) on Instagram and Twitter. She’s taking over the world, actually. Just so you know. Anyway… Here she is, being interrogated by me.

What type of phone do you have?
An iPhone 4s.

Would you consider yourself obsessed with your phone?
Definitely – mainly for internet and app usage though.

Do you carry a charger around with you ‘just in case’?
Always.

Do you ever bring it to the loo with you?
I do, yeah.. haha.
( Don’t worry, Leanne. Common response.)

Do you panic if you haven’t got your phone in your line of sight?
I “lose” my phone every 5 seconds and mini panic attacks each time!

What do you use your phone for that you think is unique or different?
I sometimes jot down miniature poems in my notes. It sounds odd but sometimes things just pop into my head and I write them down on it before they disappear!

How many alarms have you got set right now?
3.
(restrained. I like it.)

Who was the last person you text?
My Nana.
(AWWW…. cute)

How many pictures do you have saved, currently?
My phone recently restored and I lost everything (back up your phone, people) so around 1,000.
(THAT IS SOME SAGE ADVICE THERE… *goes to back up phone*)

Do you have any weird habits relating to your phone?
No, not really!

What app do you use to chat?
WhatsApp.

What app do you check/use most often?
Instagram.

What app do you wish you could tell everyone about?
Aer Lingus! I use it to check in and everything, no paper/ printing required.

What app are you a bit morto that you have/use?
I have used Tinder in the past..

Are you a messy phone user or are you tidy/obsessive about it??
I’m obsessive. I don’t like folders, usually, I only have one for my photo apps but everything else fits into the second page as I always forget about having a third one.

What three apps could you not live without?
Spotify, Instagram and Gmail!

QUICKFIYAHHH

Vibrate or noise? Vibrate – I haven’t had a ringtone in over 6 years!
Cover or no cover? Cover
Minimal or messy homescreen? Minimal
Finger scroll or thumb scroll? Thumb
Text or call? Text
Instagram or Twitter? Instagram
iPhone or Android? iPhone

FIND LEANNE…

@LeanneWoodfull on Twitter
Thunder & Threads
@LeanneWoodfull on Instagram

COMING TOMORROW!

One of Ireland’s top magazine editors lets me lurk around near her iPhone*…

*thinking of getting these posts sponsored by Apple at this stage, lads.

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PS. If you like #TWYL and are on Facebook, give me a little like here. I’ll repay you with good thoughts.

Dave Moore: Four alarms, none on his iPhone…

Welcome to day who the hell cares eight of quizzing Irish celebs about their private phone using business for the sake of entertainment and me being extremely nosy. Ah, it’s all in good fun. Today’s lucky lad?

Dave Moore!

Dave Moore

Dave is one half of the radio dream team that is Dermot and Dave. His Twitter bio is one of my favourites on the entire internet, if I was pickin’. Simply, it says: ‘On the radio. Happy.’ And because I know him to be a man of many words (not few), I can only presume these are the ones he wants the world to know first and foremost. Recently ported over to TodayFM from what was my favourite drivetime radio slot, Dave and his ‘radio wife’ Dermot Whelan are now successfully at the helm of the lunchtime slot on Today FM. He’s a hoot, and a genuinely, exceptionally nice man.

What type of phone do you have?
Apple iPhone 5S

Would you consider yourself obsessed with your phone?
My God, yes. It’s part of my being.

Do you carry a charger around with you ‘just in case’?
I did in my last job. In fact, I had three at one stage. Three chargers. On my person. At one time. My new job in Today FM means I don’t need to, as I’m home before it dies. Usually.

Do you ever bring it to the loo with you?
Doesn’t everyone? It’s part of the process.
(YESSS!!)

Do you panic if you haven’t got your phone in your line of sight?
No but I do need to know where it is. That’s mostly because, if I don’t know where it is, my kids have it and they can delete an app in sub-two nanoseconds.

What do you use your phone for that’s a bit different?
I use it to meditate. The Headspace app is the best thing on earth. Try the Take 10, a free, 10-day meditation course. It will change your life.

How many alarms have you got set right now?
None. I have two sons.
(when Dave wrote this, he had two sons. I mean, he still has. But he also now has THE CUTEST twin daughters on the earth, Nina and Anna – and that Tekken reference wasn’t even planned!)

Who was the last person you text?
Actually, it was Danny O’Reilly from The Coronas. [Ga-Dunk] Giant name drop. But it was cos the lads just finished the new album in the UK and I was congratulating him.
(I LOVE a good name drop. Especially because it’s difficult to name drop the last person who text me – my dad.)

How many pictures do you have saved, currently?
78. Plus 142 in a folder but I store all of mine on Dropbox.

Do you have any weird habits relating to your phone?
I don’t think so. I know Dermot, my radio wife, finds it exceedingly annoying that I use the Lloyd Christmas “Goodbye my looooooov – airbag to the face” farewell every time I finish a conversation with my actual wife. We love Dumb & Dumber.

What app do you use to chat?
Text messages.
(OOH, old school. That’s practically retro, Dave.)

What app do you check most often?
Twitter.

What app do you wish you could tell everyone about?
Boast! It’s talking Twitter, only better, and Irish!

What app are you a bit morto that you have/use?
The Stocks app. I don’t know how to delete it. Totes morto.

Are you a messy phone user or are you tidy/obsessive compulsive about it?
Absolutely tidy! Every app in a folder except for about six I use every day. All on one page.

What three apps could you not live without?
Boast, Twitter and Headspace.

QUICKFIYAHHH

Vibrate or noise? Vibrate
Cover or no cover? Cover
Minimal or messy homescreen? Minimal
Finger scroll or thumb scroll? Finger
Text or call? Call
Instagram or Twitter? Twitter
iPhone or Android? iPhone

FIND DAVE…

@DaveTodayFm
Website!

Coming tomorrow!

One of THE BEST bloggers to come out of Ireland since blogging began. She’s won awards. Real ones.

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Jo Linehan: iPhone Zen Master?!

Ah, you’ve returned. I see you’ve become as obsessed as I am with other people’s phone usage. Come, join me in my madness. We’re cracking another swipe code today, and this time it’s the turn of one of Ireland’s most fashion forward women…

Jo Linehan

Jo LinehanJo is just FABULOUS. Apart from being Junior Editor at IMAGE Magazine, where she discovers and nurtures the newest design talents and talks food, trends and talking points, she is also someone I’m very lucky to be able to call a friend. She’s a Cork girl living in Phibsborough, and she spends her spare time reading magazines (obsessed much?), travelling, spending time with family, friends and her dog. Up until her appointment at IMAGE, her life long dream was to be a pop star. Now, she loves festivals, Instagram, talking and bad club music.

What type of phone do you have?
An iPhone 4.I should have a 5s, but it was stolen. It’s a sensitive issue.

Would you consider yourself obsessed with your phone?
Definitely not! Although, after these questions maybe I’ll have to change tack…

Do you carry a charger around with you ‘just in case’?
Yes…

Do you ever bring it to the loo with you?
Yes… But, only if I need to send a sneaky text or check something on Facebook. So, yeah, pretty much always.

Do you panic if you haven’t got your phone in your line of sight?
No. Unless I’m worried it might be stolen again. I’m happy for it to stay in my pocket/bag. And I really hate when you’re out for a coffee with someone, or worse, watching a movie with someone and they’re face is basking in the light of a smartphone day-glow. Put it down, for god’s sake. Not OK.

What do you use your phone for that’s a bit different?
Well, I use this amazing app called ZMeditations which is a mindfulness guide. So, you could say my phone doubles as a Zen master.

How many alarms have you got set right now?
…81. I’m not even kidding. And they’re all before 9 am. My time to wake up on any given day varies greatly! I don’t use them all every day, obviously…

Who was the last person you text?
My mum! She always sends a ‘have a great day’ text first thing in the morning, along with an update on her exact status, which is usually either, “I’ve had my morning coffee!’ or “need to get coffee”.

How many pictures do you have saved, currently?
383. Many of those are memes. Here is one of my current favourites…

maryp

Do you have any weird habits relating to your phone?
I like to go on to the DAFT app from time to time to look at ridiculously expensive properties. Is that weird? It’s pretty weird.

What app do you use to chat?
Whatsapp. I also use Snaphat to just send a pic if I’m feeling ESPECIALLY lazy.

What app do you check/use most often?
I’d say Instagram and Twitter. It used to be Facebook but I refuse to use that message app so it’s been knocked back.

What app do you wish you could tell everyone about?
TuneIn! I love listening to the radio, and this has every station in the world, more or less. Plus, it’s free.

What app are you a bit morto that you have to use?
Definitely Google maps. How the hell did I get anywhere before it? That and Google Images. I am horrendous with faces, so a quick Googling helps get me out of any situation where I’m liable to insult.

Are you a messy phone user or are you tidy/obsessive compulsive about it?
Oh, OCD to the max. That goes for everything in my life, but open apps, push notifications, disorganised app folders? *shudders* That is the stuff of nightmares, my friend.

What three apps could you not live without?
This is very grown up and boring, but Ulster Bank (it helps me to monitor everything. It’s so handy), Google (the solution to most of life’s problems) and TuneIn (If you have music and news, you’re pretty much sorted).

WHAM, BAM, ANSWER MA’AM

Vibrate or noise? Noise!
Cover or no cover? Kenzo cover
Minimal or messy homescreen? Usually my favourite catwalk look of the moment. Oh god, I’m so sad!!
Finger scroll or thumb scroll? Finger. Do you reckon we’ll all have weird hands in 20 years time from that?
Text or call? Oh, it totally depends on who it is! Calling is more personal.
Instagram or Twitter? I go between the two. Instagram at the moment.
IPhone or Android? iPhone FTW.

FIND JO:

Twitter: @jo_linehan
Instagram: @jo_linehan

Coming tomorrow…

SOMEONE FROM THE RADIO THAT IS GAS THAT I LOVE. HE IS MALE.

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10 Ways To Bag Yourself a Prince (just like yer wan Emma Watsername did)

emma_watson_wallpaper_greyShe’s about to become a Disney princess having just been cast in the live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast, but could Emma Watson end up as a REAL princess?? If rumours are true, just maybe…

Every gossip site from Daily Mail to Buzzfeed are speculating that everyone’s favourite ginge royal Prince Harry (soz Sarah Ferguson) is going out with Hermione Ms Watson… She is literally doing exactly what every little girl raised on Disney movies aspires to do: FIND PRINCE CHARMING. So I just wanted to reflect on the magical world in which something like that would come about. IMAGINE IT FOR A SECOND.

They meet first. Casually, of course, at some kind of fabulous charity event because, ya know… Philanthropy is sexy. Chandeliers so big you can see the actual future in them, flower arrangements so elaborate you know 18 gardeners died in their creation, and canapés with ingredients so expensive you want to cash them in for rent money.

He’s standing there, pretending (badly) that he’s interested in all the intensely boring old people he’s shaking hands with. She’s on her way up the line, hands sweating (probably cos she loves the red-heads – Ron Weasley like??) asking her agent is her lipstick okay and is there sufficient seduction in her eyes. Because, hell. No matter how much money you make in Hollywood, there’s no role that’ll make you more moolah than that of a bona fide principessa.

They meet. Emma is radiant, hilarious, intelligent, super posh. Harry is…. royal. The deal is half sealed already. Then he (apparently, and very skeptically I might add) sends her an email asking her out – princeH2009_xx@totesfunroyalz.com – and she rings everyone she’s ever met to tell them, all the while dancing ferociously around her latest hotel room like this:

 

S’wanyway. In what alternate universe does someone just meet a prince, hit it off, and wind up dating him?? (rumours, rumours, rumours, no one sue me, etc.) I don’t live there, that’s for damn sure. But, for the craic, here are some suggestions as to how to bag yourself an actual, real life prince.

HOW TO BAG A PRINCE IN TEN STEPS…

1. Elocution lessons. Get them. You’re never gonna land a prince if you pronounce halibut ‘hally boo’ and if you don’t know about the silent ‘g’ in sovereign.

2. Dress the part. You don’t see Kate Middleton wearing crop tops from Vero Moda do you?? No. Frequent LK Bennett and the likes. A sensible nude court shoe is the new glass slipper thanks to K-Midz.

3. Get philanthropic. Charity dinners are your best shot for meeting one. Okay, the €10,000 a plate dinner might be out of your reach financially, but use your wits to blag your way in. Once you’re with the prince, the law will look favourably on your previous indiscretions.

4. Wait ages before you, ya know… Give it up. Otherwise his mates/royal fam will be all…

5. Play it COOL. He is a prince, for goodness sake. He’s had chicks flinging themselves at him at high speed his entire life. Making like you don’t really care he’s a prince will work in your favour.

6. Give him something different. He’s SO OVER boring royal talk, pomp and ceremony and all the dullness and antiquation that princely life entails. Talk to him. Have the craic. You’re Irish, you’re excellent at that.

7. Charm the pants off his family. If they’re anything like the English royals, they’ll be a tough crowd. And if you don’t pass the family test, you’ll never be bestowed the title Princess Charming. Ever.

8. Be resilient and willing to look the other way. What, you think a PRINCE will be happy to have just one woman?? You’re not signing up for monogamy here. You’re in this one for the status/cash/time to work on your backhand.

9. Prepare to fight for him. Before you’ve got it locked down (as in, before he puts a hideously ’80s lookin’ sparkler on your immaculately manicured hands), you’ll face a ton of other prince chasers. Let them know you’re not messin’.

10. If your sister has a nice bum, lock her up on the wedding day. Ain’t no one gonna steal YOUR Fresh Princess thunder!

All that’s left to do is flail off into the sunset, safe in the knowledge your kids will have at least 14 first names, you’ll never be short of a below-the-knee skirt and you’ll always, ALWAYS have a curly blow-dry…

Share, share, share. Looking up gifs is EFFORT.

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Neddy Arkins: iPhone details…

Neddy Arkins ORBSThe Original Rude Boys, or ORB as they’re called by their proper fans, are a band from inner city Dublin that are feckin’ MASSIVE thanks in no small part to the unique skills of rapper Sean ‘Neddy’ Arkins. He’s the first man to answer my probing questions about phone usage (round of applause for the bravery) and he’s very, VERY honest, which I love. Take it away, Ned…

What type of phone do you have?
Currently rocking the iPhone 5s.

Would you consider yourself obsessed with your phone?
I wouldn’t say obsessed but I do rely on it a lot for both work and staying in touch with friends.

Do you carry a charger around with you ‘just in case’?
No, my last iPhone’s battery was dodgy so I had to carry a charger around with me daily which was a pain, but I haven’t got any problems yet with my latest one.

Do you ever bring it to the loo with you?
Haha no, the toilet is a quiet, relaxing place, no phones allowed!

Do you panic if you haven’t got your phone in your line of sight?
I don’t think so, I mean if I was convinced it was lost I’d be a bit on edge.

What do you use your phone for that you think is unique or different?
It’s my connection to fans and people who follow my band, It gives me a direct link to them which is both handy and useful.

How many alarms have you got set right now?
None right now, I usually set one alarm for waking up just before I go to sleep.

Who was the last person you text?
My mate Paul. Nothing interesting.

How many pictures do you have saved, currently?
1,748. I really should slow down on the snapping.

Do you have any weird habits relating to your phone?
Hmmm, I never use my phone for playing music, I need to have an iPod for that. I find it strange playing music from a phone for some reason. I also have to wipe it down at least twice a day with a baby wipe and cloth cause I’m convinced the bacteria on my phone will one day kill me!

What app do you use to chat?
I’m pretty active on most of them but for personal chat it’s WhatsApp as I can stay in touch with friends abroad which is a life saver and super handy.

What app do you check most often?
It’s a tie between Facebook and Twitter I reckon.

What app do you wish you could tell everyone about?
I’ve yet to love an app so much that I feel everyone must know about it.

What app are you a bit morto that you have/use?
I once downloaded Tinder thinking it was like Facebook and stuff. Had no idea about the concept and couldn’t get me head around why I couldn’t add me mates on it.

Are you a messy phone user or are you tidy/obsessive compulsive about it?
Defo obsessive, everything goes into a folder. Folders named correctly. Nothing is left open. Perfect.

What three apps could you not live without?
Whatsapp, Facebook and Instagram

QUICKFIRE…

Vibrate or noise? Currently rocking a Dirty Dancing ringtone so noise for sure.
Cover or no cover? Cover, but one of those slim bumpers, nothing chunky or big.
Minimal or messy homescreen? Minimal.
Finger scroll or thumb scroll? Thumb scroller for life.
Text or call? Depends on the situation. Mates would be text. People closer would be call.
Instagram or Twitter? Instagram.
iPhone or Android? iPhone, I recently switched to Android and lasted about a week, Great phone but after using iPhone since they came out i can’t switch. Apple has my heart.

I’m with you on that Ned!

FIND NEDDY:

Twitter: @neddyarkins
Snapchat: neddyorbs
Band Twitter: @ORBsOfficial
Band site: www.orbhq.com

COMING NEXT WEEK…

One of Ireland’s funniest radio DJs, a top model and an award-winning Irish blogger. Yerrrrr, etc.

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